In dealing with tricky people situations, are we part scientist and part artist? I am lucky that I work in two unrelated fields. Providing psychological therapy and facilitating organisational change fuse art and science. And I love both challenges.
I work as an organisational change manager in industry. My change manager role means I am fortunate enough to help guide thousands of employees towards new ways of working. My work supports operational leaders in addressing messy and complicated people challenges. Yes, most people prefer to avoid changes ahead, mainly if those changes happen clumsily or thoughtlessly.
The second field I work in is as fascinating, complicated and messy. I work as a provisional psychologist in private practice. I am in a privileged position where my clients share profound insights and secrets. Even though I have started in this role, I can see that I love the work. I feel privileged that my clients share what they do with me. Our relationship builds on trust and respect.
Your body is your instrument. In my organisational work, I often deal with many stakeholders. Each person has a stake in the change I am helping bring to life. The change may be a new system, office or another new way of working. My body is an instrument when I walk into a room to meet with stakeholders. In what way, you ask? I need to match my client’s energy and ideally bring calm and focused energy to our interaction. I need to listen carefully and get a sense of how each stakeholder interacts.
I must be attuned to my client’s mood and affect in my clinical work. When I meet them in reception, I am already paying attention to how they show up. I listen to what my body tells me about how they make me feel during the session. I also pay attention to my body language. Is my body language open or closed? Does the expression on my face match the nature of the conversation and the client’s prevailing mood?
In both lines of work, and my feeling grounded and present with either my stakeholder or client?
Be in the moment to intuit another’s idea of pains and gains. My ability to feel grounded and balanced can make a big difference in my interactions with others. I attend to the tiny nuances of our interactions with those I am with. Be it both organisational stakeholders and private practice clients. A raised eyebrow has significance, as does a slight shift in one seat.
If someone gleans valuable insight into a problem, they may feel empowered. The value of another person understanding them is powerful too. The relationship soars when someone respects the client’s fears (no matter how irrational). Sometimes your gut feeling gives you signals you can bring to the conversation.
Your attention span plays a vital part in intuiting other’s ideas of pains and gains. Your unfettered attention and focus on uncovering more to solve a problem is an incredible asset.
Walk in another person’s shoes. Understand how environmental change influences the interplay between mind, body and behaviour. In the therapy room, your muse on this topic is the client in front of you. In organisational change, pick a muse or two. Choose a team member involved in the change. You may want to sit with them for a day, observing their daily role. Running the idea of the change by them helps tease out insights. These insights inform the broader collective’s view of the pains and gains of the change. How does a change influence their sense of autonomy, progress or other experiences? Organisational change work may draw upon neuropsychological models (like SCARF). Individual therapy draws upon many models, like the biopsychosocial model. In other words, our biology, psychology and social environment influence how we are. Models aren’t perfect, but they help give you a ‘mud map’ of someone’s inner world. But always ask them if your ‘mud map’ is correct — or needs correction!
What I assume is helpful or practical is one thing. I might think a particular model or reflection is beneficial, enlightening others on what may be happening. Yet my client or stakeholder may take away a completely different impression about what is helpful or practical. Over time, if I have checked in to see their belief, I learn that other things I’ve done have made a far more significant difference. My private practice client may have valued my validation of their emotion at a critical moment. Did I read between the lines that my client isn’t ready to try a particular intervention…yet? My stakeholder may appreciate me for picking up on the slight change in a stakeholder’s voice when they describe a fear about a future change—the warmth in how I welcome someone into the therapy room. Or the calm, structured way I present how hundreds of employees will be supported throughout the next few months in a complicated change.
Go into solution mode slowly. Coming from a strong organisational background, I am used to coming up with quick and pragmatic ideas. Is my scramble for quick solutions a form of insecurity? This may very well be the case. It could also be a discomfort with the unknown. Or even impatience in waiting for others to join the dots. I am learning in both fields that are slowing things down has power. It gives me space to see how others might form a solution. The space gives me a degree of gravitas too. I can ponder a situation in front of me. Simple curiosity could also be charisma in a bottle. Someone genuine and authentic in finding someone else’s why is valuable. Over time I am feeling less of a need to rush in. In business, clients expect quick solutions and someone with the energy to run in and move others towards a solution. But industry sees the value in coaching-style questioning. In counselling others, a quick solution orientation may disempower others. Holding space for others may bear fabulous fruit later.
Be humble and adapt where you can. I am becoming increasingly aware of how easy it is to get things wrong. Checking your understanding of the stakeholder’s or client’s situation is incredibly important. Only some clients or stakeholders will like you for who you are. Sometimes relationships are just not meant to be overly fruitful. Some people may have a blunt or rough edge or a quite comfortable with conflict. Others are far too indirect. Yes, we do our best to reconcile the distance in values and approaches with others. I am learning that being humble and adaptable helps me conduct this reconciliation with greater ease. I can make light of unexpected ruptures in certain relationships or adapt well-laid plans in the face of change. Many years ago, I went to a business networking course. I spoke to a successful commercial real estate sales manager. This man offered me a job selling commercial real estate, which ultimately wasn’t for me. One thing that he said about sales was that “anything to do with people is like nailing jelly to a wall.”
The imagery in his comments stuck with me for many years, and I agree with it. Both organisational change and seeing private practice clients rely on a great degree of creativity and artistry. Yes, you do have to have many models in your mental toolbox to help you get the job done. Yet to adapt to unexpected or complicated people problems, you must also be creative and think on your feet. Some private practice clients are challenging to connect with. Being humble and adapting your approach may help you build that vital rapport. The same applies to specific organisational stakeholders. They may have a political agenda that contradicts the ideals of the organisational change you lead. Or they may have complex personalities. Sometimes the challenge lies because you still need to do your homework. You may have made incorrect assumptions. While the client or stakeholder hasn’t corrected you, your credibility has been silently dragged outside and shot.
- How do you bring your sense of physicality and intuition to your work?
- How can you gently tease what others consider practical and helpful?
- How can you bring a sense of lightness and play to help you remain humble and adaptable in your career?